I’m unwell, and I want to try and write about the experience because our beliefs, how we interpret these illnesses, is important and I think we need to trust these processes. I know that if I struggle, the force that is opposing me will get stronger. It does get stronger. And finally, there is a stage where I can no longer struggle. It is futile, I must submit. Because these illnesses are bigger than us, they are bigger than our egos. And we need to trust their intelligence. We need to trust that they have another journey for us in mind, another task for us to perform. We must let go and succumb to their lessons. There is no choice. I went for a walk today and only walked for ten minutes. Th
Yesterday I had a panic attack. I haven’t had many of these in my life – at least, not as bad as this one. Jeff was with me and he looked after me. He has seen this happen before so he kept his head and this helped me to stay in control – but it was still overwhelming. I don’t normally dye my hair, but had just bought some hair dye. I read the instructions which had a page of warnings about adverse effects – these included dizziness and poisoning. The manufacturer suggested testing the dye 48 hours before use but, of course, I was impatient. So, I went into the bathroom and set to work. I managed to get the dye in my hair and set a timer for 35 minutes, then went back to the lounge room wher
